top of page

Our Menu

Hello there! Welcome to Café' Fluvanna! Our menu today, and everyday this week, consists of raw potatoes, overcooked noodles, dirty broccoli, bug filled greens, and rotten fruit! I hope that you didn't bring your appetite because you will soon lose it. The rice, well, I really cant explain what it looks like. Sorry. The meat, well, I don't really know what that is either, but the box states "Not For Human Consumption".

The bread will either be rock hard or doughy and your drink to help you wash down the dirty, bug infested, over cooked, over looked, or undercooked meal will be made with hot water and it will only appear to be juice. Oh... you don't have silverware, don't worry. You can eat with your fingers! Yes, even the soup. Well if you like you can have this mushy brown banana that you cant do anything with to begin with so don't ask me why we are serving it to you.

We most definitely aim to not please! Maybe twice a week you will get something decent to eat and since Whoever is the one that serves the "food", is going to make sure that you don't get anything extra because they are going to take that themselves. Oh you're still hungry...I'm sorry to hear that, but I hope you did enjoy the portion of what you did get. Order commissary if you have support from loved ones. If not I don't know what to tell you. Oh well. .Thanks for eating with us at the most complained about, not cared about diner in the area. Take care now!

Gwendolyn Burton



Search By Tags
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square
bottom of page